Last week, after the school’s assembly honoring 2 of my 3 children as students of the month, Drover and I decided to head to the nifty little small town car wash that will wash an entire full sized vehicle for $1.25. I’m not entirely sure how much time we get to wash it for that price, but I do know that it is more than the approximate amount of time it takes for my arm to completely give out which is unfortunate because now my youngest child may have to live without the memories of his mother standing in the car wash stall banging on the sudsy exterior of the car window, while holding a powerful wand that is spewing soapy water from her right hand, pleading for him to stop fighting with his brothers long enough to give her a quarter before her time runs out and she has to insert another minimum of 5 quarters.
Because all children need memories like that.
So on the way to the car wash, Drover stopped by the grocery store to grab a fountain drink and the latest copy of the local paper which is full of all sorts of small town gossip that small town people like us need to know. When he returned to the car, he relayed the paper to me and took off down town toward the car wash.
“How long’s that liquor store been there?” Drover asked.
“I noticed it yesterday when I went through town,” I replied. “They sure got it in quick.”
“Yeah. I never thought there’d be a liquor store in this town,” he said.
“Especially right next door to that church,” I said. “Isn’t there some sort of law against that? Like don’t liquor stores have to be a certain distance from churches and schools?” I asked.
That’s about the time I noticed the image in the paper of the new liquor store.
“Oh! Wait! Here’s an article about it,” I said. “Says here the liquor store is a fake! I guess it’s just there for the movie… says here the pastor of the church next door is the one who owns the building!”
For those of you out-of-towners, George Clooney is here in town co-producing a movie called “August: Osage County” starring Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep and Juliette Lewis. Our small town is just one of the many Osage County locations to be featured in the film which is based on a true story about a dysfunctional family in Osage County.
So yesterday, after picking the kids up from school, I decided I needed to snap a picture of my unpretentious downtown area as a visual aid for my blog readers, but instead of finding my one horse town as I usually see it, I was met with several patrol cars and officers directing heavy traffic around a newly acquired pump jack sectioned off smack dab in the middle of main street.
“Why are all of these policemen here Momma?” My children ask.
“Do you have anything to eat?” My children ask.
“Hey!! Cheetos!” My children point out.
“Can I have some Cheetos?” My children ask.
“MOM!! He took the cheetos and I saw them FIRST!”
Trying to explain the importance of such an event to my children, it turns out, is paltry compared to their need to consume food at all times. It was 3 minutes after school and they were 2 minutes away from starving to death.
Who has time for A-list movie stars in a crisis like that?
Besides, being student of the month is a pretty influential position too.