I was all set to jot down my Monday list yesterday when I noticed my computer cord had been chewed almost entirely in half.
I thought I could pick up a new cord for around $20. Turns out cords are more approximately $75.
Needless to say, this was a depressing realization for me.
And the world was a happier place.
3. Then my grandmother called to tell me my brother had left some knives at her house for my boys.
Because my brother lives so far from me, we often exchange items at her house because her house is the half-way house.
Not to be confused with the halfway house.
“Your brother left some knives here for the boys,” she informed me.
“Knives?” I asked.
“Yeah. He said he told the boys that if they made straight A’s on their report cards, he’d buy them knives. And they’re really big ones too,” she said.
“Like how big? Like machete big? Or Samurai big?” I inquired.
“I dunno, but I do know they’re bigger than a switch blade knife,” she said, “and they’ve got a lifetime warranty.”
That’s all my kids need. Weapons that will last them a lifetime.
“Ok, I’ll be by later to pick them up,” I replied.
4. Speaking of knives, we finally carved our Halloween jack-o-lanterns over the weekend.
We, meaning me.
My children were not allowed to operate the carving knife.
6. My boys started wrestling yesterday.
Being a wrestler requires special shoes, and because my boys waited until the last-minute to inform me of the need for the shoes until the day of practice, I was forced to buy them while they were at school.
Which means they wouldn’t be able to try them on.
Fortunately, my 9-year-old and I wear the same size shoe.
So there I was in the store with my purse slung across my shoulder, trying on wrestling shoes .
Apparently, this is typical because none of the salesmen said a word.
7. Getting to the bus stop early to pick up your kids can make for a boring wait.
Unless your brother happens to get your young children dangerously large big game hunting knives in which case your time can be well spent splicing computer cords that have been chewed by dogs.
9. Utterly amazing.