Coyote Soup

Bringing life back to the family ranch with three young free range braves and lots of organic elbow grease.

A Belated Monday List October 30, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Piper Long @ 10:33 am
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1. When one gets a dog, one should always take into consideration all possible indirect expenses of caring for them.
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e.g. computer cords.

I was all set to jot down my Monday list yesterday when I noticed my computer cord had been chewed almost entirely in half.

I thought I could pick up a new cord for around $20. Turns out cords are more approximately $75.

Needless to say, this was a depressing realization for me.

2. So I made butterscotch pie.
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And the world was a happier place.

3. Then my grandmother called to tell me my brother had left some knives at her house for my boys.
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Because my brother lives so far from me, we often exchange items at her house because her house is the half-way house.

Not to be confused with the halfway house.

“Your brother left some knives here for the boys,” she informed me.

“Knives?” I asked.

“Yeah. He said he told the boys that if they made straight A’s on their report cards, he’d buy them knives. And they’re really big ones too,” she said.

Big?

“Like how big? Like machete big? Or Samurai big?” I inquired.

“I dunno, but I do know they’re bigger than a switch blade knife,” she said, “and they’ve got a lifetime warranty.”

Great.

That’s all my kids need. Weapons that will last them a lifetime.

“Ok, I’ll be by later to pick them up,” I replied.

4. Speaking of knives, we finally carved our Halloween jack-o-lanterns over the weekend.

We, meaning me.

My children were not allowed to operate the carving knife.

5. However, I did allow my 5-year-old to operate my car.
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6. My boys started wrestling yesterday.

Being a wrestler requires special shoes, and because my boys waited until the last-minute to inform me of the need for the shoes until the day of practice, I was forced to buy them while they were at school.

Which means they wouldn’t be able to try them on.

Fortunately, my 9-year-old and I wear the same size shoe.

So there I was in the store with my purse slung across my shoulder, trying on wrestling shoes .

Apparently, this is typical because none of the salesmen said a word.

7. Getting to the bus stop early to pick up your kids can make for a boring wait.
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Unless your brother happens to get your young children dangerously large big game hunting knives in which case your time can be well spent splicing computer cords that have been chewed by dogs.

8. Last night, the sunset was amazing.
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9. Utterly amazing.

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10. Not to be confused with udderly amazing.

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The Cake Truck October 25, 2012

Filed under: ranching — Piper Long @ 6:31 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Cattle guards are a wonderful invention.

They are typically used in place of gates where the fence meets the roadway to keep cattle from wandering over into the wrong pasture. They save hurried ranch wives oodles of time that would otherwise be spent parking the car, getting out of the car, opening the gate, getting back in the car, driving through the open gate, parking the car, getting out of the car and closing the gate.

I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

Up until recently our cattle guards have done an outstanding job guarding the gate area.

But recently, the cattle have been jumping the cattle guards.

Some are even tippy-toeing across and gathering at a green patch of grass near the house.

“Why do they keep jumping the cattle guard?” Drover asked, looking out the kitchen window. “The gate was open when I came in and the cows were nowhere in sight. It’s not like they don’t have plenty of food in their pasture.”

“You wanna know why?” I asked, drying my hands on the kitchen towel. “It’s because you drive all over this ranch, handin out that cake grain from your truck. Sure they’ve got food lyin around, but you’ve got cake. You’re like the ice cream truck, only with cake. Heifers will do anything for cake.”

Drover looked at me and I could see the corners of his mouth turn up ever so slightly. And with that he headed out the door to resume his cake truck route.

As soon as the cows heard the sounds of the cake truck in the distance, their ears perked up.
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And they began to follow.
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Until they noticed the fresh, healthy greens on the opposite side of the road.

Oh the dilemmas of life.

Healthy greens… or cake?
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Cake!

Definitely cake!

 

Flat on Bachelor’s Flat June 28, 2011

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live without my cellphone.

I would like to think I would be more attentive to the moment…
Less likely to get brain cancer…
Perhaps I would no longer perform periodically frantic searches for it when I find it’s not presently in my grasp or attached to my ear…
I could do whatever I wanted without answering to anyone as to my whereabouts.

Then I have days like today when it would be nice if someone knew my whereabouts.

Preferably someone who knows how to change a flat tire…. because today when I was on my way home from the store, groceries in tow, a rock viciously slashed my tire causing it to deflate right smack dab in the middle of nowhere. More exactly 4 hilly, windy unpaved miles from my home in one direction and 4 hilly, windy unpaved miles from the nearest neighbor in the opposite direction. The sun was of course situated at its peak. And my children had just devoured the last of my Mocha Carmel Frappe.

Can you guess how many times this has happened to me?

Not only was this my first flat, but this was my first flat on the vehicle I just recently purchased less than a month ago. Thankfully, my children were smart enough to find the secret passageway to the jack. Meanwhile, I was under the dusty car trying to detach the spare I’d never had to use.

By now the boys were devouring the groceries and I was really starting to get concerned. The spare was stuck. I was able to lower it a few inches, but I couldn’t get it to drop. The manual was no help, there was obviously something wrong with the release.

We grabbed a few things and started walking toward home. Shortly thereafter, we came upon a clearing to a nearby pasture. That’s when I noticed an oil truck pumping oil out of the pasture’s tank battery.

SWEET CIVILIZATION! HE MUST HAVE A CELL PHONE!

When we arrived at the tank battery, I knocked on the door to the diesel powered truck. Startled by the presence of a woman and three children with no vehicle in sight, the man immediately offered us cold water.

Do you have any Frappes?

“No, thank you…” I replied, “…do you uh… do you happen to have a cell phone I could borrow?”

Trying to contain my excitement to be reunited with modern technology, I then proceeded to carefully dial the number to the man who rescues me time after time.

 

 
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